CWI: Do you hear me now?

Recently I’ve noticed a trend with Sai. When he has something ‘important’ (and in his mind this can range from ‘really-really’ important to ‘not-so’ important) to tell/ask me he says:

“Mom, I’m going to ask you something and I want you to listen to me until I’m done speaking. No interrupting, please just listen until I’m done, then you can answer. Okay?”

The first time this happened was a couple of weeks ago when he called me.  And the ‘really-important’ thing he wanted to know was *drum roll please* if he could make s’mores in the microwave. Yes, my friends, I had to listen without interrupting before I gave him my answer, even though I knew my answer right away as soon as I heard ‘can I make…’

Since that time, it’s happened a few more times for a variety of things.  So here I am wondering why.

Sai is very pragmatic.  If he wants something he often uses facts to get you to agree with him.  Requests for new toys are accompanied with in-depth research about where it can be found, the price of it, what he’ll do to get it, etc etc.  For example, he started out the ‘s’mores’ question with ‘Mom, I know you’re probably in a meeting and I need to be quick with this question.  You also know that I’m very responsible…’

So this ask for me to listen until he’s finished speaking…is it because he thinks ‘no’ might be my first response, but maybe…just maybe if I understood I’d respond differently?  So it got me thinking ‘do I listen to respond or do I listen to understand?’

I talk to my Dad on the phone maybe 4 times a week. Less than how often I speak to Mom, but often enough that I kinda know how the conversation will go. Or should I say how I think it will go? You see Dad has a pattern and over the years I’ve come to realize that and recently I find myself answering questions even before they are asked. Or in the event that he throws a wrench into the conversation and asks one question before another, I give the wrong answer.

The long and short is that I realize most times I listen to respond, but out of respect to those who choose to have conversations with me I need to listen to understand, after which, I’ll think of my response.

Thank you Sai for teaching mommy this.

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