Yesterday we went to one of the most beautiful weddings we’ve ever been to. Everything from the stunning bride and groom to the ‘winks and nods’ (such as this ‘groom’ golf cart pictured that transported us to the venue) to the love that was felt and witnessed from the families of the bride and groom worked together to create a love-filled, beautiful evening. Anyone who knows me, knows that I love love. I truly do.
I wrote an article for a magazine earlier this year but never posted it on my blog. So some may have read this before, others may not have. It’s all about the difference between weddings and marriages. I have a gut feeling that B and J, who got married yesterday, will be just fine…but have a read below.
As originally published in COCO Magazine
“Buy a man a fish he eats for a day, teach a man to fish and he’ll eat for a lifetime.”
This quote often relates to training, but it can also represent the difference between wedding and a marriage. Some of us get so caught up in having and planning a wedding (or ‘eating for a day’) that we forget that it’s simply a one day event, whereas the marriage is supposed to be forever (or ‘eating for a lifetime’).
Could this be why so many marriages are failing at a more rapid rate than ever before? It’s hard to say, but years ago, one thing is for sure, weddings were simple events, not the grand showcases of glitz and glamour that many are today.
A wedding is the ceremony of getting married. A marriage, on the other hand, is a long-term relationship/committment between two individuals. One leads into the other. A safe comparison would be the ‘act of getting pregnant’ and ‘becoming a parent’. This in itself is another topic altogether because many people engage in the ‘act of getting pregnant’ without fully being prepared, ready or equipped to ‘become a parent’.
I love weddings just as much as the next person. As I sit teary-eyed in the church – which is beautifully decorated with the most exotic flowers, with bridesmaids and groomsmen looking radiant as they publicly stand in support of the bride and groom who both look stunning, likely the best they’ve ever looked ever – I think ‘I hope they’re ready for tomorrow’.
I hope they’re ready for tomorrow
- When money isn’t easily at their disposable to order the best of the best
- When they don’t have the undivided of experts who are waiting at their beck and call
- When bridesmaids and groomsmen go back to their regularly scheduled lives
- When their bride or groom may not look 1/3 as beautiful as they look today
I hope they’re ready when, to sum it up, all the stars aren’t aligned for their enjoyment and happiness. Cause let’s face it, as you leave the reception hall, you’re back to being just Jack and Jill.
But being just Jack and Jill doesn’t have to mean gloom and doom. It can mean happiness and joy; but the way you get that is through choosing to love.
Marriages celebrate love. And as love is a verb, the act of ‘choosing to love’ plays a big role in a happy marriage.
- Choosing to love through illness
- Choosing to love in spite of the budget
- Choosing to love in the midst of a home that seems so untidy
- Choosing to love the love handles on your partners
- Choosing to love the quirks that can easily annoy you
In short, when you choose to love, you’re putting another person ahead of yourself. And if two people do that for each other, beautiful moments can happen. You need to make a concerted effort; there is no ‘marriage planner’ to help you do this. You have to make your own marriage successful.
So, as you plan your wedding, please think about what’s going to happen once that day is over and you’re officially married. Because marriage is not a mere event, it is a journey of life.
This is a wise piece of advice that couples would do well to heed before the I Dos fade